Warning: this is not a happy post, I just need to vent.
I have always loved March; our anniversary, Caydence's birthday, finally starting to feel like spring, etc. But this has DEFINITELY not been my favorite month...
I think it all started with Will deciding he doesn't like to sleep anymore. I used to feed him once a night (or actually morning) between 6 and 6:30. He would go right back to sleep until 9ish while I exercised, showered, and got Caydence ready for school and/or gymnastics. Then I feed him again and we're out the door. I had a great routine. But at some time this month he decided to stop sleeping. I now feed him at least 3 times a night. His worst night he literally had an internal alarm going off EVERY 1.5 hours! And he REFUSED to go back to bed until I fed him, and since he won't take a bottle, it's all me. And, since the doctor is so worried about his weight, I feel I need to feed him any time he'll eat. And these were not quick feedings.... So now every day I'm tired, haven't exercised in 3 weeks, and that just starts a chain reaction.
I have felt like a terrible mom lately. All I do is tell Caydence to 1- quiet down so she doesn't wake up Will, 2- stop crying, 3- obey me!!, 4- stop yelling at Copper (the parents' dog), etc. We have had a really hard time with her lately and I feel like she completely ignores me. I'm worn out. Advice?
I am worn out. I had the kids by myself for the last 48 hours. Danny leaves for work before they wake up, and went straight from work to the Jazz game, got home when they were asleep, and repeat... I'm not resenting him, just more jealous than anything. Even when he is home I don't get a break! No bottle for Will means 8 months since I've had a break!!! I need some friends...
So you may know that we are set to close on our first house in 1 week!! We are so excited, but that has REALLY added to the stress.
1-it has been so fast! We started looking, put in an offer 6 days later, and we're closing within a month of our offer!!
2-we are behind the times and don't have the Internet, so that makes this process really complicated. They email us forms we need to sign and return, and luckily I can see them on my phone. Then I run to my mom's to print them, but she's out of ink. So I go to the library, but they say to not print personal info because it's not secure. So I load up the kids AGAIN and head to my dad's office to print them. Then I have to wait for Danny to get home to sign, and I run BACK to dad's office to fax everything. And then they send me more forms and we start all over again...
4- our house is a DISASTER! We can only 1/2 pack because we still have to LIVE, but we've packed everything we can, and boxes are stacked everywhere we can find a spare inch!
4- we have to wrap everything up here so fast, we really haven't even had a moment to think about it!! I am really going to miss my calling, and our amazing primary president I have been lucky enough to work with {tear}. I'm trying not to think about it too much. That is going to be the hardest goodbye.
5- we only have 1 day to move everything AND deep clean our apartment. It gives me anxiety to think about it....
6- Caydence just messes everything up faster than I can clean. Every project I do is cancelled out by her making a bigger mess!
Will has been so whine-y lately! He's not teething, but he won't let me put him down!! I can't get anything done!
And I could keep going...but I'm too tired, and Will is probably going to be up to eat soon...
-Tarin
7 years ago
